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Post by magenta on May 16, 2010 5:22:48 GMT -5
After nine years clear from breast cancer, and just as I start thinking about planning a ten years survival party, I have been told that the docs think some cancer has returned and there may even be some secondaries in the bones. I am still having tests; have had an ultrasound and an MRI scan and a biopsy, and I still have to have a CT scan and bone scan next week and the week after. So at the moment, I'm in a state of not knowing whether to panic or remain hopeful that there might be some mistake. I had a bad fall in September 2008 and landed heavily on my right side, where I had the surgery, reconstruction and lymphedema, so went to the hospital, where they refused to even give me an X-ray, even though I had lost the grip in my right hand. I have never been right since then, and have been getting horrible nerve pains down my right arm that were again ignored. It's only when my osteopath, that I was seeing for back pain (and to try to work out the arm pain) noticed that there was some gristly lumpiness in the blob of redundant flesh by my armpit, the bit that was left over after all the surgery. I got it checked out, thinking it might be just a haematoma, so you can imagine the utter horror when they told me what they thought it was.
I'm absolutely gobsmacked, but still don't know exactly how to feel until I know for sure.
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Post by Ruth on May 16, 2010 9:22:45 GMT -5
Magenta,
I'm sitting here shaking my head back and forth....This was SUCH a shock to hear and I'm praying that it is NOT what they think.
I'm coming up on my 10 year survivor anniversary in August and I've had this "it's too good to be true" feeling......So, when I read your post it was like a smack in the head.
I'm keeping you in my prayers and PLEASE keep us informed. Try not to worry too much until you have some more information (yeah right!!!)
Hugs, Ruth
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Post by Grits on May 16, 2010 22:26:38 GMT -5
Magenta, you are most assuredly in my prayers that the tests come out in your favor Sweetie... I find myself constantly having to fight off the dreaded feeling of "when will the hammer fall?" I am glad for every day I can count in my Survivorship, but the feeling still sits in the back of my thoughts and surfaces every so often...it's an ongoing struggle to keep those feelings at bay and stay positive. Keep your chin up...keep the faith and be strong...we are here for you! Hugs, Jane
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Post by mountaingirl on May 18, 2010 12:31:06 GMT -5
Sending extra prayers up from the Carolinas .........
Heidi mountaingirl
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Post by cara3 on May 18, 2010 17:37:50 GMT -5
Magenta,
I was 8 years out when I discovered cancer again. I hope my last operation will be in June. I know you are disappointed but you have survived so much and you can do it again. If you panic, it is okay. But remember to set your feet back on the ground when the time comes for your new battle. So many people think "cancer free" is a ticket out. But often, it is only a ticket to rest before we begin fighting again.
I am praying for you. Please keep us posted.
Kitty
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Post by magenta on May 19, 2010 6:47:15 GMT -5
Thank you, ladies, I really appreciate your good wishes. At the moment, I'm resigned to waiting for the rest of the tests; I had a biopsy last Friday but haven't heard anything back yet, and have my CT scan this Friday. The main issue at the moment is pain; as I mentioned, I have this vile nerve pain down my right arm and have now been put on Tramadol, that at least keeps it down a bit. But I'm also on Diclofenac, which causes the most horrendous bloating and really hurts my stomach muscles. If I could get rid of that, at least I'd be able to concentrate on staying positive
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Post by cara3 on May 19, 2010 18:55:24 GMT -5
Magenta, please keep us informed. You are in my prayers.
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Post by gaynelleorbunny on May 20, 2010 22:52:22 GMT -5
Dear Magenta, I am sending POSITIVE THOUGHTS & PRAYERS your way that your results will be 'B 9'. Please come back in with an update. Take care. KEEP THRIVIN' & SURVIVIN'! E-bunny ((hugs)),
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Post by magenta on Jun 2, 2010 4:23:32 GMT -5
Well, after two failed attempts to have a CT scan, due to bureaucratic mess ups, I had that yesterday. Today is the appointment with the oncologist, which I am terrified about. Will update later today or tomorrow.
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Post by pam on Jun 2, 2010 16:50:11 GMT -5
Will be praying for you and pray everything comes out ok.Pam
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Post by Grits on Jun 5, 2010 7:35:16 GMT -5
Magenta, prayers spiraling through the airwaves for you...keep the faith and stay strong...lots of hugs, Jane
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Post by Ruth on Jun 9, 2010 8:04:50 GMT -5
Magenta,
Thinking about you and hoping that you check-in soon.
You are in my prayers girlfriend.
Hugs, Ruth
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Post by magenta on Jan 9, 2011 8:48:47 GMT -5
Hi all Sorry for not updating you sooner. I went to the hospital on June 2nd to see the oncologist and found that it is indeed the return of breast cancer on the same side, but embedded in the latissimus dorsi muscle (good job I didn't use that for reconstruction!) and there is some cancer in my vertebrae, left shoulder and top of my right thigh bone. They said that it wasn't curable but was manageable and gave me all the medication I needed. However, as I was about to leave to go and have lunch with my two sisters, the oncologist told me she needed me to have a couple of quick X-rays before leaving. No problem, I thought. BUT...then the radiographer came rushing in and told me to sit in a wheelchair and don't move. She was panicking, which then scared me, as I'd been in a semi-positive frame of mind till then. I ended up being admitted to hospital there and then, and was in for five weeks, having two major operations on my spine, because after all the expensive scanning etc, a simple X-ray found that most of the vertebrae in my neck were completely cabbaged. If it had gone on much longer, my neck would have completely collapsed and I could have been paralysed from the neck down. The operations were horrendous, one lasted seven and a half hours, and the biggie lasted ten and a half hours. I now have a lovely scar at the front of my neck and a big zip-like one from my hairline to halfway down my back. Most of the horrible pain I was suffering before is now under control and last time I saw the oncologist, he couldn't even feel the lump at my armpit, so something must be working. I have to have a Zometa bone infusion every four weeks, which isn't too bad and doesn't take long. I have a full range of bloods done at the same time, so they can keep an eye on the tumour markers (or something), and so far I am doing fine and remaining stable. Sadly I have had to give up tapdancing, which I loved doing, but had had to stop a couple of weeks before the surgery due to pain. But I was rehearsing for a local production of My Fair Lady, in which I was in the chorus and had a small speaking part; but was in hospital recovering from the first op when the show opened, so I was gutted to miss that. Especially as I was the only one in the whole company with a London accent, the rest were Yorkshire!! I am still off work, and have applied for early retirement on ill health grounds. I hope it comes through quickly as I'm very skint now, as my pay has dropped to half. With the lump sum from my pension, I will be able to pay a large chunk off my mortgage and reduce my outgoings, but it's hard work scrimping and scraping again, now I've been fairly comfortable for a few years. Anyway, I'm in less pain, and didn't have to have chemo (hurray!); but I do get tired very easily and don't have much strength in my arms and shoulders. But I'm very glad to be still here to tell the tale! Hope things are going well with you all. Very sorry to hear about Gail. What's happened to this forum though? No posts since last June? Have you moved house again and not told me?
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Post by Ruth on Jan 10, 2011 8:01:44 GMT -5
Magenta,
It is so good to hear from you. I have been wondering where you got to. Thought maybe you saw how vacant FIT is now-a-days and decided not to post.
My word girlfriend, you sure have been through the war and back. Thank God they found out about your neck in time to do something about it. I'm sorry you had to go through so much. Both of those surgeries sound so very serious. It sounds like progress has been slow, but at least you are making progress and that's a good thing.
A lot of the ladies who used to be here are on Facebook now and we do keep in touch that way. If you use Facebook, my name is Ruth Potee Rowley....send me a "friend" request. There is also another group on Facebook that one of our members Suzanne started it is called PAWS (Pink Angel Warrior Survivors) which you might like to join. Several of our old friends and some new ones are there.
Unfortunatly, Friends In Touch has not been the same since MSN disbanded their Groups and we lost our other site. This Proboards site was a lot of work setting up, but, it just never took off as we hoped. I think everyone just got discourages. I do try to check in about once a week to see if anyone needs anything, but, as you said, the posts are few and far between.
Hugs, Ruth
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